Body Image, Fatness, and Self Acceptance: What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self
Blog post by Julia Carter
I’ve always existed in a larger body. Today, I view this as a neutral fact—a part of who I am, how I move, how I connect, and how I care for myself. This body is my home. But it took years for me to feel that sense of safety and belonging within myself. As a teenager, my body felt more like an enemy or ongoing project. The media rarely reflected bodies like mine, and if they did, it was always as the "before" picture. People around me—peers, doctors, even well-meaning adults—often treated my body like it was something to be fixed. Add the typical teenage discomfort to that mix, and it became nearly impossible to care for my body in a healthy, balanced way.
Today’s adolescents have more role models, resources, and frameworks that encourage body acceptance. Yet, they're also facing unique challenges that can make embodiment even harder to achieve. Social media bombards them with a constant stream of impossible ideals. Every swipe suggests another way to "improve"—another product, trend, or drastic change that promises to make them more acceptable, more loved. The rise of drugs like Ozempic, marketed under the umbrella of wellness, has created a new wave of diet culture that, though cleverly disguised, continues to sell the same harmful message: your body is not safe or acceptable unless it is thin.
As a therapist working with adolescents on body image, disordered eating, and self-esteem, I can’t help but reflect on my own teenage years. What would I tell my younger self if I had the chance? How would I guide her to see herself through a kinder, more compassionate lens?
Here’s what I would say:
- You are safe to exist in the body you have.
Your body is not a problem to be solved. It’s the place where you live. Treat it with care and kindness. - Movement isn’t about weight loss.
Movement can be joyful, playful, and a way to connect with yourself and the world. Let it be something you enjoy, not something you endure. - Your uniqueness is not a flaw.
Just because you show up differently than others doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Your body, your perspective, and your way of moving through the world are all valid. - Your body is wise.
Trust it. It knows what you need better than any outside voice. Learning to listen to and trust your body is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. - Weight loss won’t solve your problems.
Your weight is not the problem. Chasing thinness won’t bring the peace or acceptance you seek. That comes from within. - Your sensitivity is a strength.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling deeply. Your emotions and sensitivity are gifts—they allow you to connect with others in meaningful ways. Don’t be ashamed of them. - Your needs matter.
It’s okay if you don’t always know what you need, but no one else can identify that for you. You have the right to ask for what you need and to take the time to figure it out. - You are allowed to explore different ways of being.
There’s no one right way to exist. You can try things on, see what fits, and let go of what doesn’t. You’re allowed to define your path. - The approval of others only goes so far.
It feels good to be liked, but external validation won’t sustain you. Seek the kind of self-acceptance that runs deep, the kind that remains even when others’ approval fades. - Your body is not inherently unhealthy.
Don’t let anyone convince you that your body is less worthy of care or attention because of its size. Health is complex and multifaceted—it’s not determined by a number on a scale. - You don’t have to be good at everything.
In fact, you don’t even have to be “good.” You are valuable just as you are, without needing to prove yourself through accomplishments or perfection.
For any teen reading this, I want you to know that you are enough, just as you are. The process of learning to love and care for your body will likely take time, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. You deserve to feel at home in your own skin.
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